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© 1995 - 2003 by Michael A. Barnett. All rights are reserved.
In the Mist
Where once I was a good and powerful knight
Protecting my lady and domain,
I am now a melancholy sentinel
standing watch over empty terrain.
But the fading echoes of memory
and time and my life remain.
And remind me of one far more deserving than I
who, save for longing anamnesis,
is not but mist in my eyes.
Michael A. Barnett 9.12.95
One
"There can be only One" pounds into my mind
as I guard her ashen remains.
But is the "One" another, or I?
And am I supposed to cherish,
or perish as the answer arrives.
In the end the result matters not,
but the thought remains, all the same.
Michael A. Barnett 9.12.95
page 55
No Lament
A wondrous, ethereal, physical spirit
visited me during the night.
And when she left, inevitably
she took a little piece of my heart away.
Eventually I’ll allow the wounds to heal
the sweet, sad pain to someday allay.
The void in my chest a half-felt memory
a mysterious ache in the night.
But the missing piece of my heart, you see
it will always re-fit, all right.
Just in case she spirits her way
wondrously, ethereally, and so magically
back into my life someday.
And I would’t have it any other way.
Michael A. Barnett 9.12.95
Passionate Fires
An electric eclectic romanticisation
but seduced or seductor was I?
The fantastic climactic realisation
that we were one and the same.
Each knowing what we had given
both wondering what the other received.
Our love out of friendship arisen
each hoping that we weren’t deceived.
Into the stoking of passionate fires
from the embers of diminishing desires
of the homelives we had both left behind.
Michael A. Barnett 9.13.95
page 56
Cry into the Night
I wanted to take you away tonight,
to hold you tightly in my arms.
I wanted to make everything all right,
to comfort and protect you from harm.
I wanted to soothe you,
your despairs to allay.
I wanted to move you,
physically and spiritually away.
Away from the thing, that, there by your side.
The thing that leaves you with nowhere to go,
and certainly nowhere to hide.
That thing that keeps you so bottled up inside.
With limited human empathic vision,
a rage rose within me, shaken and driven.
The pain that I felt
was like a white hot light.
So very intense I thought I would melt,
A vermilion cry, deep into the night.
I wanted to take you away, but I didn’t
So I just sat there, weak and inhibited,
with cold, frozen tears,
broken and livid.
Because all the while, deep down inside,
I was so afraid to look into your eyes,
and find that the pain was not truly yours after all,
but, rather, it was mine all the time.
Michael A. Barnett 9.14.95
page 57
Impact
Was it a pleasant diversion
Or an imminent immersion
That night of shared hearts,
Minds, bodies and souls.
My life had departed
You arrived and imparted
Your heavenly aura,
Filling the void, old as old.
We related deep emotions
Spoke of touching devotions
That night we shared hearts,
Minds, bodies and souls
And then you departed
Not intentionally cold-hearted
Leaving a great longing emptiness,
Inside the void, old as old.
And how deeply I feared
that I had cheated my endeared
By mourning for the wrong lost heart,
Mind, body and soul.....
Michael A. Barnett 9.14.95
page 58
Much more than a Vote
Battles were fought, won and lost
until the sad, inevitable end.
But was our war victorious, or not
and can the wounded ever mend.
Or can that decision even be made
while evil furies inside still rage,
the viral pestilence defiantly uncaged,
mercilessly torturing it’s many enslaved.
The misguided minions of society are engaged
in foolish discussions of whether we can
politicise away this disease of dismay,
lying deep within the body, and heart of man.
Michael A. Barnett 9.19.95
Are you really here?
I’ve always hated trying poetry
is it you, are you there, inside of me?
Writing these things with me, as I try not to cry?
If so, well, that’s all right . So feel free.
Are you my muse,
or merely amused?
Could I create these works, so cluelessly, on my own,
or is it just my refusal to admit that I’ve grown?
Maybe I’m not ready to let you go,
not yet ready for you to fade into distant memory.
You meant so much more to me than you’ll ever know.
Whatever this is, I’ll just let it be. Just let it be.
Michael A. Barnett 9.19.95
page 59
Love is....
Out of unlimited human endurance
Comes from the past the benign assurance
That whether or not we are indeed alone
It takes but two hearts to make the world a home.
Michael A. Barnett 9.19.95
Discovery
My long distance voyage
might be dangerous, it’s true
as I will venture into the deep
unthinking blue
with red sunrises’ blinding light
oh, so like you.
But any fears I may face
while down gray waves I race
pale in dull comparison
to the infinite passion
that I feel breezing through
in fond remembrance of you
Michael A. Barnett 9.20.95
page 60
Why not?
How can you just walk away
isn’t there anything left to say
why are you treating me this way
I’d give anything to be with you today
Was the time we shared so bad
that you could leave me here so sad
how many good times we could have had
if only I hadn’t made you so mad
I wonder if you’re feeling blue
or if perhaps there’s someone new
maybe one whose verbal disasters are few
I’d really like to know why I’m not over you
Michael A. Barnett 9.22.95
Longing
Afraid to sleep at night
wonder what could be inside
people ask if I think of suicide
why bother, I reply, I’m already dead inside.
Or am I, it’s not really clear
bemoaning the fact that you’re not near
as I guiltily wonder
if I’ll ever
find anyone as dear
as you.
I will always love you, Melissa.
Michael A. Barnett 9.24.95
page 61
Lines in the Sand
Mere incidental mortal pleasures of the flesh
are nothing compared to the fire of two spirits meshed
metaphysical souls, minds and limbs intertwine
bodies ascending beyond feeling, minds transcending time
pure human emotion, a very scarce find
rarely arriving before the end of the line
When we first met, both lonely, and afraid of the outside
Barely knowing ourselves, we rushed blindly to each other’s side
then our lives exploded, into the light, not needing to hide
because we both seemed to know, somehow, deep down inside
that somewhere in our future would come the dark time
for us to face, all too soon, the end of the line
And when it came time to swallow that most bitter of pills
the conjurer’s prestidigitation, foreboding ill will
you didn’t seem surprised, maybe even expecting
you took it so well, no one ever suspecting
that deep down inside, you were dying all the time
coming closer, ever closer, to the end of the line
I tried every treatment, every spell I could find
you knew they were hopeless, yet you did not mind
helplessly I watched as the tempest ravaged you, my dear wife
and in the end, when the relentless hourglass of life
let loose with a whisper those last few precious sands of time
I stood by at your side, as you crossed, crossed over the line.
Michael A. Barnett 9.24.95
page 62
Pain
As though a twig had snapped in my mind
severed were the ties that bind
not nearly the ordeal I had thought it to be
a gentle breeze whispering softly to me
Wash yourself in my enveloping relief
no need at all for you to feel grief
you heart she may have unknowingly borrowed
not knowing herself what inevitably followed
The subtle transfer of deep-felt emotion
away from your life’s one true devotion
with friendship, love, sweet words, and affection
her imminent departure somehow escaping detection
which caused the heart-wrenching twist of the knife
that razor sharp blade which painfully shapes life
Michael A. Barnett 9.28.95
If
A fragile peace
such sweet release
as a moment ago
I let you go
we shall now at long last see
if, indeed, I am really free
Michael A Barnett 9.28.95
page 63
For All of You
Deep inside my chest a closet is kept
Full of torches, each put away as I wept
Sometimes I go there late at night
Alone, adrift, I think of what might
Have been, except for the vagaries of fate
The feelings beyond the door are intense, but blind
Relentless, remorseless, knowing neither love or hate
Sometimes it hurts, but I really don’t mind
Some still burn brightly
While others are dim
A few flare up nightly
And many, merely whims
Brilliant red flames, long lost loves and lovers
Most of these hearts now belong to others
But, there is deep heat coming from a few
Including the one that I keep lit for you.
Michael A. Barnett 10.11.95
page 64
Melissa’s Colour
intense violet, violent light
unblinking, blindingly bright
ceaselessly scorching with it’s might
the colour of truth, fraught with fright
it is also the colour of a diminutive flower
sharing the hue, not displaying it’s power
seemingly helpless, fragile and weak
violet comfort, protecting the meek
unnatural fear when the sky fills with this light
the last colour seen when the sun leaves at night
the colour of battle, violet banners for the free
favorite shade of religions, bringing Gods to thee
regal cast of royalty, tint of compassion
the shade in your eyes when wrought with passion
yes, violet was the very best colour for you
It’s intense hue is so true, as were you.
Michael A. Barnett 10.26.95
Now and Then
Our life together is over
though so much was left undone
you were my life, my love, and lover
the two of us, together as one
Perhaps someday I’ll meet another
and I so hope this to be true
she will enter my life, be my lover
but, she will never, ever be you
This does not mean I’ll care for her any less
though my memory of you will never be gone
two different types of love I will have in my heart
past, present, and future, together as one
If it is true love, your spirit she will not fear
sharing with her your memory, this will be done
for then, your presence, it will always be near
and it will be all of us, together as one.
Michael A. Barnett 10.26.95
page 65
Emotional Winter
We’d known each other for so long before
always your beauty I’d tried to ignore
your essence, your aura I would silently intake
treading cautiously, not to make a mistake
while heading out all alone in the cold
toward my emotional winter
And then, like a dream, you came to me
diaphanous, ethereal, wild and free
you were, that night, so wonderful to behold
delicate, like a rose, I helped you unfold
your body on fire, tenderly mine to hold
but your eyes betrayed a story, untold
inevitable
like dark icy clouds pushing me onwards
into my emotional winter
I knew all the time it was too good to be true
making love would be the last thing we would do
you are not to blame, no, the fault is mine
in desperate confusion, I stepped over the line
stranded, desolate, no one to hear me call
and then the snow began to fall
This pain inside me is all too real
the intense emotion inside that I feel
when I think of you, and my deep desire
to have and to hold you, to burn in your fire
but you are gone, just a hot memory
as the snow deepens all around
I don’t really know why, but I still want you so bad
when often I think of the brief time we had
compassion, love, guilt, desire and sadness
the confusing feelings driving me to madness
a dark deadly storm, cutting cold and deep
I’m lost within my emotional winter
Now, everywhere I turn I see your face
a cold illusion, it makes my heart race
I thought I had control of the situation
but I’m so consumed by runaway emotion
and forever now I will be caught
any struggle will come to naught
locked
in the eternal glacial freeze
of my Emotional Winter
Michael A. Barnett 12.9.95
page 66
Stilled Life
Inside,
I feel like an egg
falling off the counter,
waiting to hit the unknown floor.
Outside,
the world exerts
unavoidable intense pressure,
on the other side of the door.
Everywhere,
I see happy people
who have survived and endured,
I cannot take this anymore.
Nowhere,
can I seem to find
someone to love, someone to be mine.
Not in this life, for it is not yet my time.
Michael A. Barnett 12.12.95
page 67
Just Once
I was afraid to tell you that you were beautiful
afraid of what you would think or say
and now I never will have the chance
except in my thoughts, where you were yet again today
you helped me so much by simply being there
before, nothing mattered anymore, I just didn’t care
then, sweet surprise as our lips sought to meet
soon all I could hear was your heart beat
the divine heat of your most intimate touch
brought me to life again, it meant that much
we each sought what we thought we needed
for you, an escape, for me, mere acceptance
to know that I might still be desired
‘though I was so burned out and tired
to have made love with one so special as you
I again feel alive, as though I’ve been renewed
such a heavenly encounter, perhaps once was enough
I should be content, but it is very tough
to be alone, lonely and melancholy once more
while wistfully wondering about you, for ever more.
Michael A. Barnett 01.11.96
page 68
Pleasure
love
lust
desire
passion
and Pain
inevitably
sometimes
all one
and
the Same
Michael A. Barnett 02.29.96
page 69
© 1995 - 2003 by Michael A. Barnett. All rights are reserved.
Feel free to comment on my poetry ... just click on this line somewhere!
links to other pages on this site
AUTO LINKS |
RALLYE |
BOAT LINKS |
HOME |
CUFF LINKS |
AUTOMOBILE GALLERY |
BACKGROUND IMAGES |
SAILBOAT GALLERY |
MISCELLANEOUS IMAGES |
AIRCRAFT GALLERY |
